In the straight world, you would never consider not inviting your mother and father. In the gay world, it might be a smart way to go. Let’s face facts, if you aren’t comfortable kissing your beloved in front of your parents, then maybe they should not be invited. Or worse, if you think they might actually ruin the wedding or feel extremely uncomfortable with the concept of their little girl at the altar with another female, then save yourself and your partner the heartache of worrying about it.
Since a wedding is supposed to be a joyous occasion, then it seems entirely appropriate to leave the “killjoys” off the list. I know what you’re thinking. What if one of those unpleasant relatives finds out they weren’t invited. Then what? I say…so what. It’s your wedding and you should invite only the people you want. Sometimes it really is okay to do something special for yourself without thinking of absolutely everyone else first. Right?
I love my mother beyond all reason. If I felt she could handle it, I would invite her. But the truth is that it would be hard for her, which means it would put a damper on things for me. Plus I feel certain that she would struggle with coming. There would be multiple phone calls and apologies that would make me crazy. My mom often calls me several times in one hour, if she worries she hurt my feelings, or forgets to tell me something.
There is a part of me that wants mom to attend. I would love for her to meet my friends, most of whom she has never met. I would like for her to see how very “normal” (translation in mom’s terms – whitebread) my friends are. There are very few piercings, face tattoos, or bizarre haircuts. None of my friends look like the star in the movie ”The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” I am quite sure this is what mom expects most lesbians look like at some primal level, where her southern baptist roots live.
So, I believe the only way to solve this problem is to invite friends. A good rule of thumb is definitely to use the “kiss question,” as we write up the invitation list. If you are going to feel funny kissing in front of a person, then you should not invite them to your wedding. Sounds logical, right. Kissing is such a fabulous part of life, and weddings in particular. Nothing should stop two people from kissing on their wedding day, and often.
Carpe the lesbian marriage of your dreams !
The kissing test! It should be the ultimate indicator!
What better test is there?
Nothing wrong with making your special day filled with people who affirm you. My friends have become my family. I was thinking of this earlier today because my partner and I are getting married December 12. who wants awkward, uncomfortable feelings on such a joyous occasion. I don’t feel uncomfortable about kissing my partner in front of my mother. My mother hasn’t met any of my friends and does not want to meet my partner. But hey we’re moving forward… life is too short to let my parents complaints get in the way of joy, love and happiness.
I agree with you completely! Good luck!