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Those New Relationship “Red Flags” We Should Not Ignore – The List August 18, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — awordgrl @ 3:58 pm

     I guess I like the color red, as it relates to flags, not states and politics of course. Maybe that’s why I tend to overlook red flags where new love is concerned, instead of running in the other direction like good therapists suggest I should. I guess one lesbian’s red flag is another lesbian’s beacon. Whatever your take is on red flags, they definitely don’t go unnoticed. The color red is hard to miss. When driving or falling in love, red means STOP.

     Don’t we all have some red flags flying at times. On bad days, we give off a completely different vibe than on our good days. After reading something inspirational by Wayne Dyer or Tony Robbins, I am SO healthy for a few hours, it probably makes others nauseous. You must know what I mean. Given that our chemistry changes every single second, which affects brain chemistry and mood, isn’t it safe to say that we also change our minds quite a lot and are effected by our environment.

     The challenge when meeting new women is to decide, if what we see is more of a mood she is in and likely to change, or if it is reflective of her true inner self. Granted, there are some red flags that we should never ignore. Those would be the warnings that this woman is likely to be one of those chronically negative women who suck the life out of you, or worse, drain you of your will to live, leaving you exhausted and longing for death.

     Even on a bad day, after being stuck in a two-hour traffic jam, or riding in a unairconditioned tow truck in 90 degree heat, I still would never do certain things. These behaviors I am referring to, are the “red flags” we should not ignore. As you know, if you’ve been reading this blog, I am fond of lists. Below is the list of red flags that should ALWAYS be considered as a warning that you should proceed with extreme caution, or perhaps take an entirely different route altogether.

1. Your new friend always sees the worst in others and is constantly criticizing them.

2. Your dearly beloved has no friends.

3. This new love interest is very secretive about her past and acts like she might be a part of the witness protection program when you asked her personal questions.

4. When you go out on a date together, she constantly checks her watch and cell phone.

5. Your new friend very rarely smiles or laughs.

6. Your date frequently forgets conversations you’ve had.

7. Your new girlfriend breaks dates frequently or is often quite late.

8. She overreacts when some small nuisance crops up, like a flat tire or a broken fingernail.

9. She pops over- the- counter pills or prescription medicine like candy, and always has a lot on hand.

10. She never seems interested in your family or your past.

11. She lies frequently and seems to have no memory for what she has already told you.

12. Your normally friendly dog growls at her, or she growls at your dog, wanting nothing to do with it.

13. She is obsessed with her looks, clothes and the way people treat her.


6 Responses to “Those New Relationship “Red Flags” We Should Not Ignore – The List”

  1. joan Says:

    You forgot a couple…true events. On your first date she constantly brings up how her former GF mistreated her but still has very strong feelings for her. She brings out her day planner to see what upcoming work things need to be taken care of. She consistently says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship but doesn’t stop calling. And remember the therapist I told you I dated??? This is her. This is only a snippet of the misery I put myself through for 8 months till my self worth had been so far flushed down the perverbial terlit, I found the strength to pull some vlocks off the terlit paper roll and wiped myself clean. Colour me red.

  2. awordgrl Says:

    Joan – At least you finally saw the light. Depending on where we’re at at any given time, sometimes we put up with more than we should. Glad you’re free of her. Good for you!

  3. Becky Says:

    The big flag for me is drama, drama, drama…at work, the family the neighborhood….I need a buzzer to go off to keep me away. Some woman are just magnets for drama. I hate constant drama. It’s waste part of our life on bs.

  4. awordgrl Says:

    Many lesbians love their drama! It’s true.

  5. Lisa Says:

    Here is another red flag…She goes through your text messages while your in the bathroom and then calls you out about something she read. And then she doesn’t understand why you are so upset about her going through your text messages. She doesn’t understand the concept of “personal boundaries” (laughing about it now)

    • awordgrl Says:

      Lisa – Yep…It’s funny AFTER it’s over. I had a woman read my diary once after we’d slept at my house. I told her she could leave when she wanted since she did not have to go to work that day. I left for work and got her call a couple of hours later. She was crying after reading something in my diary that she’d fished out of a closet. She didn’t like a comment I’d made about her in my diary. Can you believe it? I couldn’t. Women never cease to surprise me. She totally felt like it was no big deal that she read my diary.

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