Since yesterday and all the hoopla hit the airwaves about the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell military policy’s proposed repeal, I feel all at once giddy. I figure if the government finally comes around to their senses, then there is hope that my parents might follow in the footsteps of Defense Secretary Robert Gates and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and call for a repeal of my family’s unofficial, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.
My stepfather went to West Point, so I’m not so sure about how he’s feeling on the subject, but my Mother who is a bit more liberal may come around if she believes other people are okay with it. I would simply be happy if she would stop shushing me every time I say the word lesbian, which is often, I’m happy to report. I’d stop saying the word it if it weren’t so much fun to see the scowl on Mom’s face and to defy her. Can you say passive-aggressive? I know….more therapy down the road, I guess. In my own small way, I’m fighting for the cause.
Is it just me, or does the whole “don’t ask, don’t tell” controversy seem sort of stupid. Sorry Bill….I know your heart was in the right place. Can you say non-issue? How exactly will things change in the military if the gay men and women serving get to stop lying about who they are. According to current law, our brothers and sisters of the homosexual variety have the right to die for their country, but do not have the right to admit they are queer. Does that sound nuts to anyone else? And do people being shot at worry over such things. In the scheme of things, with life and death at stake, who the hell in their right mind gives a damn.
What are these military nuts afraid of anyway. Do they truly believe that the homos are invisible and that anyone with any sense doesn’t already know they are serving in close quarters with queers. All I can figure is that they’d rather discuss the merits of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy than how the war is going. I can’t really blame them for that. Such debate offers a great diversionary tactic. And the military is all about tactics and strategies, I hear.
But back to my family, where the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy has been in effect for a couple of decades now. I’d really love it, if at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I could sit closer on the sofa to my girlfriend without my Mother scowling at me, for fear someone else in the family might notice. I’m sure that these family members, who I see once or twice a year at the holidays have already guessed about me and my “roommate.” Just because my family’s Southern, doesn’t mean they’re stupid. I’m quite sure everyone has my number, even though I did make that mistake at 21 and marry a guy in college. That charade did throw them off for awhile, but not forever.
The reason I have hope for my parents and other conservative people, is that they are adaptable people. Mom watches Ellen on TV, without thinking twice about who Ellen married. Even my West Point graduate, stepfather likes Ellen. What’s not to like? She’s funny and cute in a non-threatening way, and she stays out of the political fray on the whole. There’s a lesson there somewhere, but I’m still trying to figure out exactly what it means for me.
All I can say is that hope is good. My hope for the future is that someday the subject of homosexuality will not be nearly as titillating a topic of discussion and that the citizenry won’t think so much about who somebody sleeps with, focusing instead on more important matters like whether every body has a bed to sleep in, with a roof over their head, and healthcare when they’re sick. When that day comes, and it’s coming, it will be time to stop writing this blog. I know. Now, as a reader, you have some hope too! It’s all good!
Lesbian Wink 