K-Mart Sexcapades – Get a Room Already!

     First let me say, one of my best friends is a gay man, so no, I don’t have it out for the guys.  Secondly, the one thing that bugs me about my close gay friend is that he can be one-dimensional at times and completely obsessed with sex, not to mention crude and non-discriminating in terms of what he shares in conversation. With that said, the recent K-Mart incident, where two men were busted in the bathroom for having sex, is no surprise to me. Gay men will have sex anywhere, anytime, it seems. So why do I care?

     The reason I care is because that type of press reduces us all to sexual perverts, the label we have spent too many years trying to escape. Granted, I know, boys will be boys. I’m sure it could be argued that straight guys are just as bad about putting their sexual urges ahead of their common sense, as their gay peers. But fortunately, the straight men often benefit by women’s sensibilities, and a female’s need to “not be caught” in a compromising position. But when you put two guys together, you get the K-Mart and George Michael scandals, where the men’s bathroom seems a scary place to send your eight-year-old son.

     If the press is any indication of the sexual habits of our population, one would conclude that “straight” people have sex in their bedrooms, away from prying eyes and the press in particular, and that gay men have sex in public bathrooms. I can’t recall ever reading an article about a man and woman having sex in a public bathroom. Is it just me, or have I simply missed those articles? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it happens. But if you go by the news written on the subject, it must not happen that often, or wouldn’t a few of the breeders eventually get caught too?

     I believe homophobia is largely a result of the “us” and “them” mentality. As long as homosexuals are discussed primarily in terms of sexual misbehavior, then we will continue to be perceived as “freaks,” who are driven by inappropriate sexual urges, defined largely by a lack of moral responsibility to the public at large.

     I hear your arguments. I know that most gays and lesbians don’t fall in this negative, reckless category. Most of my gay and lesbian friends are very community-oriented and socially responsible. The problem is that the press only shows up when a few of us misbehave in K-Mart or some other public place.

     I know I’m getting preachy. Maybe I should shut  up and mind my own business. But as long as gay men continue to put their worst foot forward and “act out”, I feel I have the right to say, please stop it already. Do us all a favor and get a room!