Yesterday I received an angry email from a lesbo who was upset with me because the matchmaker service sent her a profile she wasn’t happy with. She claimed the girl was heavy, according to the picture she sent out, and that she had indicated she wanted a slim girl. No worries if you’re reading this, as it isn’t you I’m talking about. I promise. Everybody asks for photos. And there are well over one hundred women involved in the matchmaker service now.
Worried about a possible glitch in my system, I checked the questionnaire completed by her match to see what might have happened. The lesbo in question reported that she was less than ten pounds overweight on the questionnaire, which I assume would not bother many people, even the athletes in the group who actually know their body mass index number by heart.
Evidently from the photo, the lesbo in question looked larger than ten pounds overweight to her match, the one I’ll call the irrational complainer for simplicity sake, and to protect the innocent. Maybe it’s true that photos add ten pounds, in which case, even if the participant in question is telling the truth, she may look larger in the photo, say twenty pounds overweight, if you add the ten pounds she admitted to on the questionnaire, and then another ten pounds blamed on the photography medium.
I wrote the angry lesbian back and explained that the only guide I could use when matching people up, was the form filled out. Short of weighing participants in like a Weight Watchers group, there is no way to defend the system from people who are less than truthful, or maybe blissfully ignorant. If you ask ten lesbos how they view their weight, you’d probably be surprised by their answers. If you were to ask me if I were ten pounds overweight, I’d probably answer a big NO. But my best friend who runs marathons and works out 20 hours a week would probably say I could lose twenty pounds. Can you say Subjective.
Personally, I am 5’7″ inches tall and weigh in at 148 on a good day, and 157 or so if you check on me in early January after the holidays. It takes me a month to recover from all the decadent holiday desserts I love. Don’t say I never told you a secret.
Compared to a triathlete, I am probably fat. If you look up my weight on doctor’s charts, I’m considered healthy at 148. If you asked a 200 lb. woman, she’d say I’m skinny. So, the problem is obvious, if you think about it.
I hate to be the one to tell you if you haven’t already figured it out, but women can be deceitful when dating. They lie about their age, their weight, and some of their dirty little habits, like smoking or heavy drinking. I have received over 100 questionnaires in the past three months and guess what, there is not a single heavy drinker in the bunch, if everyone answered truthfully. What are the odds? In case it’s early and you’re a little slow or preoccupied. That last remark was sarcastic.
So wake up and smell the coffee already. This is a FREE service designed to help lesbos meet women with similar interests and priorities. The system is not fool-proof. And did I mention that it’s FREE. Yes, FREE, as in you spend no money, and I work like a dog for you. Maybe I’m a sucker, or maybe I’m trying to give back. Whatever. It’s still a good deal, no matter how you look at it.
I know I’m being defensive, but I work for FREE, so I have a right. The complainer seemed more intent on bitching about a photo and totally ignored the MANY shared interests (I won’t say the number to protect the innocent), and common life priorities they shared. I felt like maybe I should require her ID to make sure I wasn’t dealing with a heterosexual man who only cared about her body. Maybe, what I should require for participation on the site is some proof that you aren’t a plastic, superficial person with more interest in the size of a woman’s ass than her heart. If anyone has any ideas about how I can screen out such women, please send me a comment, as I am open to your suggestions. Can you say MEAN? I know. I have my moments. I just expect more from lesbos, I guess.
If matchmaker participants lie on the questionnaire, either intentionally or unintentionally, I can’t help it. That’s life in the big city, so buck up and don’t be such a baby. People lie to themselves, the IRS, and to each other. Why do we expect them to be perfectly truthful on an anonymous form? Hello? If you call yourself “sexy lady” and send a questionnaire into cyber space to find a date, with nothing but an email to be traced, do you expect you’ll be caught in a little white lie.
Women rationalize such things. It’s not a complete lie to their way of thinking. I weighed 130 lbs my senior year in high school and that’s the last time I weighed. Or, does a bottle of wine per night mean I’m a heavy drinker? No way. They drink more than that in France by noon. Plus, wine doesn’t count, since it’s not hard liquor. Enough said. We all rationalize things to ourself so we won’t jump off bridges or take entire bottles of sleeping pills.
About a year ago when I left my partner of eight years, I got on two popular dating sites. First, before I could even complain about the service, I had to cough up good money to join. Then I surfed hundreds of photos of “supposed” single lesbians, only to find out that half of them were inactive. To this day, my partner still gets emails from our old dating site, even though she’s been inactive for a year. (or that’s what I want to believe…wink)
To say I was frustrated by the lack of sensitivity and response from the other dating services would be a huge understatement. I’d spend hours surfing the site, selecting women with similar interests, then writing them a witty, well thought out email, only to have very few of them answer. I know, maybe it’s me. But, I’m just saying. My single friends had similar, bad experiences. Even if you consider how obnoxious I am and factor me out of the equation as unattractive and terribly flawed at best, the system was not perfect for my nice and gorgeous, single friends, either.
All I could assume by the lack of response I received at the time, is that, one of two things happened. Either they did not receive my email, or they were too rude to answer me, even to reject me. Did I give up? NO. I met my girlfriend on one of those sites. Was I frustrated from the lack of response I received from the “so-called” active females posted on the site? That’s a big YES! Was I shocked how different they seemed in person after chatting with them online or comparing them to their photo? You better believe it!
When I started LesbianWinkMatchmaker.com, my intention was to create a site run by lesbians, for lesbians, where common courtesy ruled, where the dating pool was active, or as active as possible with constant attention to deleting inconsiderate or inactive participants out of the mix. By eliminating photos, I hoped to bypass the meat-market aspect of dating services, realizing that photos lie and that at the very least, common interests and shared life priorities are still the cornerstone of a good relationship.
Anyone who believes they’ll do better in a dark bar, or being fixed up by friends, should skip using my service, or at the very least, take a math class and study probability, in particular. In that dark bar, after a few drinks, you can see who you’re getting physically, right? No worries about her misrepresenting her weight. Seeing is believing, right? It reminds me of that bar joke about how all the ugly women go home by midnight. Wink. If you don’t get the joke, I’m not going to be the one to explain it to you.
We all know that in a noisy bar, you really get to know each other on a spiritual level. And we’ll all agree that over drinks, after nine months without sex, we’d never, ever, misrepresent ourself for the sake of sex. NOT! In my darker, lonelier, hours, after months of sleeping alone, I’d probably have agreed to parachute from a plane or wrestle alligators if I thought it would land her in my bed. No, I’m not proud to admit this. But, don’t kid yourself. Desperation is a strong motivator.
With this introduction service being free and as personalized and careful about lesbos tender feelings as is humanly possible, I’m filing this blog in the “You can’t please all of the people all of the time,” category. Good luck out there today. I do HOPE you find true love. We all deserve it. Even the complainers.
I’ll stop bitching now and go take my medication. WINK!
Lesbian Wink 