We all know a moody lesbian. Maybe you are a moody lesbo or your partner is, in which case, I’m sorry. But everybody is grumpy at times, right? The trick is to know how to respond to her ups and downs without going crazy. Or if you are the one who is prone to wide swings from depression to fits of laughter, please remember the ones who love you and don’t be too hard on us as we try and navigate around your demeanor in a considerate and sane manner, so we don’t lose our minds, or worse, give up on the relationship.
One of my exes always forgave me for many of my own strange behaviors that were foreign to her, by smiling and saying, it’s your way. As condescending as that statement could be, if delivered without a smile or kiss, her casual way of allowing for our differences, worked as a loving way to simply shrug and admit that we aren’t all clones of each other. Where lesbos get in trouble is when we expect our partners or friends to always mirror our own mood. Life is never this tidy. So, don’t expect it to be.
One of my girlfriends was bi-polar. She was one of the sweetest, most attractive women I have ever known. But as you may know, bi-polar is all about the mood swings. Medication can make the drastic shifts between mania and deep depression managable, but without medication, it is impossible to cope with a woman whose mood swings are this radical. If you’re dating a woman who suffers from this disease, seek help immediately. If she refuses to get medication for this disease or find some alternative solution that works, you have no choice but to disengage, if you expect to remain sane yourself.
Milder mood issues are often associated with the whole morning versus night person conundrum. I’ve learned to ignore my partner’s quiet, dismissive mood early in the morning for this reason. I am a morning person and she isn’t. Before 10am, I talk to the dogs until she wakes up. I also give her some space for an hour or so after she gets home from work, before expecting any attention.
As irritating as a woman can be when she rains on your parade by not participating in your upbeat world, or joining you in the doldrums, you can’t fault her most of the time. If a man explained away my bad moods by grunting, “hormones,” I’d be angry. But there is some truth to that comment, even if we don’t appreciate any male’s dismissive tone. Whether a lesbo is in her twenties and thirties and all about sex, or in menopause dealing with hot flashes, there is no denying that our lives are greatly influenced by the fluctuation of our hormones. What can I say. The need for understanding is absolute. Our bodies rule us whether we like it or not.
There are times though, that you should run away instead of tip toeing around her bad moods. Here is a list of times you should run away.
1. She is bi-polar and will not take medication or find an alternative solution to manage her illness.
2. She is suicidal and won’t get help. (Don’t run away, assist her in finding help) If she refuses to help herself and persists in a downward spiral, you may need to walk away at some point.
3. She is immature and uses her moods to control you by pouting when she doesn’t get her way, or giving you the cold shoulder often, to manipulate you, instead of talking things out.
4. Her natural mood or temperament is not compatible with yours.
5. She sleeps much of the time, hiding from life, rather than living it.
6. She flies into a rage and is verbally or physically abusive.
7. She engages in passive-aggressive behavior on a regular basis doing things that infer you aren’t important to her, like diminishing the importance of your needs by ignoring them. For instance if you’re afraid of driving fast in the rain and you ask her to slow down, but she persists in speeding anyway with you trapped in the car with her, that is abusive.
8. She is never in the mood to do the things that are important to you, but she is always in the mood to do the things that she enjoys.
9. She pouts every time you get together with your friends, and constantly criticizes them, trying to separate you from them.
10. You find yourself always tip toeing around her marginalizing your own quality of life, wondering when the next shoe will drop.
Lesbian Wink 